Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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