Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I stole a fireplace last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
