singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
