I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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