You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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