I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
