oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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