i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Couch. On fire.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
