I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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