if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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