seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
