Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize