I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
