It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
