5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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