I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have surprise drugs for everyone
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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