this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize