Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
