I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
