That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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