i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
