Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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