Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
