You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Randomize
