wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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