Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
