Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
