Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
