I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
