After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
