why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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