You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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