And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
