Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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