you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
