Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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