Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
