We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
