We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
