I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I love having hate sex.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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