dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
