haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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