Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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