I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize