meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
