Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
