This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
