You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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