i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
