I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
