i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize