and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize