Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
