I cockslap morals
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
