I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just saw a hot homeless man
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
foreskin is a definite game changer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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