how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
