They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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