Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
operation harelip BJ is a go
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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