She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
