her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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