so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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