is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
