On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
