you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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