my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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