i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
