obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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