the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My balls are so social today.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize